I did have a weird dream last night that I wish I could remember more details of, but I think it is pretty indicative of how I’ve been feeling lately: unstable, not able to get my footing, etc.
I dreamt that it was getting dark and I was walking back toward my house. Near my favorite tree is a pretty steep hill, but instead of it being the normal road that I’m used to, it was all mud, and almost a 90 degree angle that I would have to climb instead of walk. The problem was that it was so muddy that I kept trying and trying to climb it, but there were no roots or anything for me to hold on to. Everything was so wet and muddy that I kept just sliding back down. I could feel the mud under my nails. I tried to start digging to make footholds, but they wouldn’t stay because the ground was so malleable. I can’t remember the order, but a cop and my mother came by at one point during my struggles and did not help me. I don’t remember anything they said, if they spoke at all.
I think this is really illustrative of how I’ve been feeling and functioning lately… that no one seems to know how to help me or has been trying to. And I am literally, stuck in the mud.