Due to a my last doctoral class for the summer finishing up today, I have limited time to really construct something. But, I did meet with a very good friend this afternoon before I headed to my university. She is also very well acquainted with relational trauma and activation. It’s imperative that if you too deal with this type of thing that you find someone who understands, and not just a therapist. My friend understands my reactions to things when other people may be left cocking their heads to the side with a sympathetic, but uncomprehending look.
Yes, therapist are helpful, they will not judge you (if they are good therapists, lol), but you need someone with whom you can have a personal relationship as well who understands your struggles and triumphs with anxiety and trauma reactions. My friend commended me on my ability to run therapy groups and teach classes even though I have anxiety, which can get activated. I commended her on being able to parent, even though having children screaming can be triggering. She also lent me a weighted blanket, which I am super excited to try out because it is supposed to really help people with anxiety/trauma/PTSD sleep better. I will report on that.
My main point for today is that, relational trauma can make you feel as though you are “wrong,” as if the very core of who you are is somehow flawed and no one could possibly understand. I’m standing here before you … er… sitting in front of a screen telling you that this isn’t true. And if you can’t believe that right now, that’s ok, my wish for you is to hold out hope that that is a possibility and seek support whether from friends or online companions. It is scary, but it is worth it.