Wellness Wednesday: Conscious Releasing

I still do not feel very well, and even when things are going well for me on the outside, it usually does not resonate on the inside. I have been focused on my PhD program, as I should be. I just passed my comprehensive exams without needing to make revisions and I won at $500 award. My first thought, though, after receiving the notification that I got the award was that more than likely no one else applied and that’s why I got it. I don’t know why I tend toward the negative so much…

Actually that’s a lie. Yes, I do. It’s because my parents are like that and growing up with people who are negative takes a toll on you, even after you leave. I have been noticing more and more how my tendencies gravitate toward the negative even when I try not to do that. Yes, I am not my parents, but I can’t negate the influence that all that negativity had on me.

My therapist introduced a concept of “conscious releasing,” in which you let go, or consciously release, someone else’s negativity or misery, meaning that you not longer feel responsible for it, feel you have to save them, or feel you have to join them. It sounds good, but it’s easier said than done, I guess. It’s hard to not let yelling/miserable people affect you when you still live with them. I know it’s temporary, but even when I’m away for a few days, my tendencies follow me. All I can say this week I guess is that don’t assume you know someone’s living situation. They might be dealing with a lot of things that you know nothing about. And if you are currently feeling as though you’re living situation is unmanageable, try to recognize the steps that you can take in the present to extricate yourself, no matter how small. That may simply be spending more time away or taking better care of yourself by exercising. Try not to blame yourself for other people’s anger, lashing out, or misery. Every miserable person has to come to a point where either they choose to do something different, or they choose to remain miserable. As a therapist, I know I can only present different tools or food for thought, I can’t make anyone change. That goes for people in my personal life as well.

2 thoughts on “Wellness Wednesday: Conscious Releasing

  1. You speak words of wisdom from what seems like a worldview bereft of Jesus.

    God through His Son Jesus does not prevent life from happening to us, but for the Christ Follower, He will carry us through any grief we face and any dysfunction in our lives at the hands of others (or ourselves).

    John 15:5 tells us that apart from Christ we can do nothing, and over decades of life I have seen the futility of trying to change me in my own strength. But Jesus has give me untold resources to deal effectively with the rejection and abandonment I grew up with, and when I feel it, and give it to Him – there is a strength in me to overcome it quite naturally and quickly.

    Like

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