I’m so messed up I didn’t even realize it was Wednesday until now.
I’m sitting in the parking lot of my university listening to The National before having to be around people for the next 7 hours. The thought is just exhausting and I’m seriously considering just going home after the meetings I absolutely have to go to and just skipping class. I haven’t felt this badly in a while and I can’t discern if it’s anxiety triggered by some trauma response. I don’t know but I’ve been on edge for like a week now and I don’t really have any anxiety producing things in my immediate future so I can’t figure out what’s going on.
The picture up above is of a healing springs I came across on a hike.
I’m tearing up in my car and I have absolutely no idea what’s going on and can’t pinpoint anything triggering this. I should probably just go home but I’m already here so I’ll try to stick out a few responsibilities while holding it together. But I guess I’ll give myself permission to skip class.
I’m really not doing well, which is unsettling because I normally manage my anxiety fairly well and I had my first panic attack in like years on Sunday night. Oh well.
How completely high was I
I was off by a thousand miles
Hit the ceiling, then you fall
Things are tougher than we are
I could walk out, but I won’t
In my mind I am in your arms
I wish someone would take my place
Can’t face heaven all heavenfaced