I can’t believe it’s already December. This year flew by, and for the most part I have been pretty consistent about posting every Wednesday/at least once a week. I plan to continue doing that into 2019.
As for this week, yesterday was a pretty jam-packed day for me so I didn’t get a chance to collect my thoughts and post something meaningful. I think this weeks wellness post will simply be a reflection of my day yesterday.
I went to a yoga class at a local gym. This may not seem like anything monumental, but for someone with anxiety, it is an extremely large accomplishment. I am not talking about the lethargy that everyone feels from time to time that keeps them from exercising. I am talking about intense fear of being around people and immense dread of making an idiot out of oneself. I don’t really know what pushed me to go. Maybe it’s the fact that I am paying for a membership? I am not sure. But I knew that if I am going to make use of the gym I have to start to get comfortable there, which is likely going to be a long process for me.
The yoga class definitely wasn’t a beginners one… it didn’t advertise itself as such, so I chided myself for thinking it would be easy. I’m sore and without my background in dance I would have been completely screwed, but I avoided embarrassment for the most part and did feel pretty calm and relaxed afterward for a while. I was planning to go swim laps tonight, but I am a little nervous about that. We’ll see what happens. I think exercise is important for so many health reasons, but for people with anxiety and a tendency to dissociate, yoga in particular seems to be helpful in staying embodied (safely) and grounded. I was up in my head for much of it and worried that I looked stupid but I felt content and not overwhelmed about my day as I was driving down town. I think I can at least partly attribute that to the yoga session. I generally don’t like being in situations with people I don’t know and not knowing what to expect… some people thrive on that and find it enlightening/a place for growth but for me I just normally become fearful and feel the most comfortable when I’m alone. I don’t necessarily like that about myself, but that’s just how I am. Anyway, if you can push yourself to try yoga at some point, I think it’s worth it.