I try so hard not to lose myself in the practical daily tasks that suck my energy and often trigger my anxiety. I dissociate much less often than I used to. And I hardly ever fully dissociate anymore, which is wonderful but at the same time– it can be hard to be fully present if you’re used to shielding yourself.
Fully present. Physically. Spiritually. Mentally.
Every now and then my soul completely shines through and I’m fully present. Actually, that has been happening more and more.
I want to hold on to that person. The fearless girl I once was who actually DIDNT care what people thought of her and knew that she was capable of working through anything that came her way. There was such serenity in that and I’m getting it back.
I feel like I’m waking up again after years of being asleep. A lifetime. I don’t want to lose myself again. And I think the choices I’ve been making and who I’ve been associating with have definitely started to reflect my true self more and more. I’m never sacrificing that and my peace again.