Blogust 16

I was pretty productive today. Finished the draft of chapter three of my dissertation proposal. Only have chapter one and two left to finish up.

Today I noticed my tendency to always think I’m doing something wrong and assuming the worst. When my boss butt dialed me and I called back I assumed I would hear about something I did or didn’t do. This has never happened mind you, but I still expect it.

It’s not even just a thought. It’s like a visceral reaction of dread I think it has more to do with my own anxiety than anyone’s behavior toward me, but it’s still hard. Sometimes it’s hard to quell that automatic fear response even when it isn’t founded. To be honest I’m always scared or freaked out but I force myself to do things anyway. I don’t know how to function any different. If I paid attention to all my thoughts I would never do anything. Lol. Does anyone have a quiet mind ? Must be so peaceful.

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