I certainly haven’t been feeling very well. I’m not able to really strike a balance with anything in my life it seems. I feel like in order for me to do a good job at one thing, something else has to suffer–whether that’s neglecting personal projects, sleep, exercising, eating correctly… more often than not I just feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do everything I need to do.
That may go along with writing a dissertation and having like 80 jobs…but hey. It’s hard for me to establish new patterns and I’ve been feeling stuck for a while. I’ll eat really well one day and then like crap the next. Sometimes I get a few good days in a streak, but it never feels like enough to really make a difference in my health or weight. I have noticed my addictive tendencies to eat/check my phone when I’m stressed out, so that has been interesting. I could write forever about how people are addicted to their phones and many don’t even realize it… pointless checking and scrolling… it becomes so habitual I’m not even sure if it’s fear of missing out anymore. People are just so programmed to want that hit of dopamine when people message them or to see how many likes they’ve gotten on something.
I wonder what I would have been like without the Internet, would I have replaced that addictive “checking” tendency with something else? I’m not sure. With the way I am, probably.
I was woken up around 6:30 today and I actually got a lot done, so at least that’s good. But I’m fading fast in terms of motivation and coherence… so I think I’ll sign off. Try to keep some balance in your life for the both of us.