Most Comfortable at a Distance

Eternal Ocean

I can see the glowing lights

I can see them every night

Really not that far away

I could be there in a day

I wonder if you live there still

I kind of think you always will

If I tried, you’d probably be

Hard to find.

Teaching is such s humbling experience, especially when people have treated you badly in the past and you expect it. It’s nice to be able to make mistakes and not feel “beat up” about it. Idk. I’ve had such weird experiences and reactions lately. they’ve been eye opening and have been like … calming be down against my will, if that makes sense. Lol.

Angst still exists though.

It’s like when I do well at something it actually makes me worry more because I think I’ve set the bar too high for myself and if I spend enough time around people they’ll realize I’m actually not that great/I’m a fraud.

I actually confided in one of my best friends the other day that I love being so busy. Rushing around constantly, because if I’m rushing, no one gets to know me or see the real me. Every day of the week I’m at a different place and I love that. I feel safer that way. Probably because when I have tried to have people integrate more fully into my life it doesn’t work so well or they pull away and I end up being disappointed. I think I’m most comfortable at a distance, though I do have a select few people that I trust to never leave (most of the time).

I’m reading Yalom … can’t wait to write about that. AND apparently the lovely kellykinetics nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award! Made my day, and I was a little dumbfounded. Sometimes I think what I post can be somewhat mundane and dreary, but I’m so grateful to be thought of! So I can’t wait to answer the questions she posed and nominate 11 people myself ! I’ll schedule myself to do it on Saturday because tomorrow I’m working at a drug and alcohol rehab center all day.

Anyhow, many thanks to Kelly. Do check out her blog. It feels wonderful to be acknowledged and I can’t wait to do the same for some other bloggers shortly 🙂

Much love

Natalie

4 thoughts on “Most Comfortable at a Distance”

    1. No problem ! 🙂 those are actually lyrics from one of my favorite songs. It has been in my head all day.

      Currently at work— I’ll have time to answer your awesome questions tomorrow afternoon. Thanks for the nomination !

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