If I’m not in a space where I can be happy for you

Then I don’t want to be around you.

Because that’s generally not me… usually I’m able to share joy with people, but it’s snowing outside and even though I started off my day well-rested and I was super productive in terms of writing today… I’m just off and not feeling it. Hopefully swimming laps will help. I’m so close to finishing my dissertation it’s insanity. I know I have to finish it while the weather is still cold, otherwise… well, I may as well put it off until December lol. This spring represents so much change and rebirth for me. I need to write about Secret Garden, I just finished reading it for the first time even though I could pretty much recite the movie to you. I have so so many thoughts about it. I love it.

I had such a strange dream last night… many of them I think, but the only one I remember is ringing. I heard the type of ringing sound that you hear when a coin is spinning really fast on a countertop. I remember feeling like a coin was spinning on my night stand right next to me. And then looking toward the ceiling and finding a few coins in the ceiling as if someone had just stuck them there but that they were about to fall. This was one of the first dreams I’ve had in a long time where I felt like I was awake. Usually those dreams are very bad. I only became frightened near the end when a coin fell and landed near me and I started to wonder about who had stuck them up there. I woke up soon after that. I’m really not sure what all that is about.

 

Anyway, happy Thursday. After my dissertation is done I do plan to do a lot more regularly scheduled content, including mental health stuff as well as more poems/sea stuff for sure.

 

~*~ Much love ~*~

Natalie

 

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