Hidden world
backdrop of blue
cradled in serenity
you can be too.
I won’t lie… this semester as a new professor has been rough. I’ve been wanting to start my YouTube Channel and just haven’t had the time to devote to it that I would like. I really want to start trying to make weekly videos centering around mental health, high functioning anxiety, empathy, relational trauma, etc… I know I’ll do it, it’s just hard having creative energy and knowing that now I need to take care of myself and incorporate rest. I have started writing my first fiction novel (horror/psych thriller), which I didn’t necessarily expect. But I think that’s the beauty with writing, it kind of takes on a life of it’s own and I think in a lot of ways it’s my own brain producing/processing some things that have happened to me, even if the story isn’t nonfiction. We’ll see where it all goes. I hope you are well and that the sea brings you some peace today amidst all of the chaos in the world. I nearly teared up when I searched for the picture to post for today… I’m not sure when I’ll get to go back to the sea. Maybe March? Who knows what the state of affairs will be in the world then.
I know I’ll be back sometime. The world is trying to heal itself. I’m trying to heal myself. I hope you’re taking this time of reflection and doing the same.
Much love to you
Natalie
Eternal Ocean of Words 
The little poem was beautiful Natalie. You’re doing great, it’s a whole new stage of life. From my perspective, you’re doing a lot, including new things, already! Plus dealing with the stresses and uncertainties that the current period is imposing on you. That extra weight requires having a little more space in life.
I felt it when you mentioned almost tearing up at seeing the ocean! I hope that you’re able to get back to it in not too long. I’ll be happy for you once you can! Take care :).
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You have: the new job, your blog, your first novel!
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Thank you so much ! I realize Iβm managing a lot. I do have to keep that in mind for sure. Itβs an exciting time but I do need to try to keep a work/play balance and make sure not to burnout … I come close to that at times with my hyper focus.
I appreciate your comment so much β- you do seem to understand how much the ocean means to me. Hope you are well !
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Yeah hyperfocus can be dangerous π.
I do feel like the ocean thing is an autistic kind of experience where some specific activity makes you feel different to any other. I know what you mean because I experienced that kind of thingβ feeling of total freedom/peace/feeling aliveβ with running, go-karting and skiing. It’s like being on another plane!
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There is nothing like it. I feel more alive. Like the ocean is more myself than I am. And I feel like visceral joy being with it and pain being away
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Yup!!! Well described. I also feel the pain from not being able to do these things and fully express/be myself. That’s awesome.
Other people I’ve heard describe this include the very best formula one drivers of all time π. Missed calling. I once won a 26 person, 4 race go karting event easily, destroyed them haha. The competitive animal in me tied up with this feeling of oneness/transcendence is a powerful combination it feels like. I’ve been planning to write about this go kart event, it was really special! Haha. Awesome π
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Interesting! Iβve often felt like I would have been awesome at racing cars or motorcycles
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Cool! What gave you that impression?
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I think because I enjoy going fast and can evision myself being one with a machine/ βin the zoneβ so to speak
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I do feel quite dreadful when I canβt fully express myself.
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Yeah π€¦ββοΈ. Thank you. This was very much the predicament I’ve been caught in when staying with family 2 years ago, and also as a teenager, with the knee injuries. Especially as they are so much less receptive than the average person.
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Even family can be so stifling
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