The past few days have been intense to say the least. I am now fully trained in EMDR (often used to treat trauma), look it up. I’ll probably end up doing a separate blog on it. But for now… I just am in awe of everything I have accomplished in my life despite my own trauma.
Today I got to hike. Kayak. Feel the sun on my face with someone I love. I felt security. That I can take care of myself and be totally independent if I need to. I felt the urge to write and create. Some new ideas came to my mind. I felt inspired.
Bryon and I kayaked against the current for some time and then enjoyed the ride back to where we started. It was sort of like a metaphor for us. I don’t know. Like we always come back to each other.
It was lovely and I honestly almost fell asleep in the sun on the way back. It came out at the most wonderful moment. Birds went about their business but there weren’t many people out. I always feel closer to God/ myself / the universe while in nature and am reminded that I am not separate -even if it feels like it at times.
It’s a miracle I’m alive. It’s a miracle you are alive. It’s a miracle I have a steady job and live in such a beautiful place.
I love the quiet. I don’t miss the rush of the city. I like the intimacy and the safety of living off in the woods. A neighbor invited us to use his kayaks when we serendipitously went outside last night to see what some noise was and had an impromptu fireworks show. I still don’t know what it was for.
In many ways this weekend was magical after such a stressful training and I am so so grateful. I’m excited to start posting more and having the emotional space to be able to do it.
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