I have made a commitment not to do any work on Sundays and have kept it. I try to write creatively, read, paint, and incorporate movement into my day.
Today I went on a walk in the sun, spent time with my boyfriend, spent some time trying to work on some creative writing projects, and read some more of Take Time For Your Life. But for whatever reason nothing is doing it for me. I’m just not relaxed and I’m already feeling crushed by the amount of work I have to do in the coming weeks. I thought I was doing a good job of saying no to things but maybe I haven’t been. I just now feel like I should have worked today to lighten my load a bit this week. I know something has to change regarding my work and or work habits but I’m not really sure what. And feeling so blocked and uninspired lately hasn’t helped. I did dance last night which usually helps but that spark wore off quickly.
One thing in Take Time For Your Life that has stood out to me is that I’ve likely been fueling myself on adrenaline for quite some time. The anxiety I feel when I check my email compulsively used as a motivator isn’t healthy. Feeling on edge and just waiting to add something to my to do list. I’ve been trying to incorporate breaks into my days but it has proven difficult. I have tried to limit the amount of tv and news I consume because a lot of it is designed to play on your emotions and keep you on edge. I’m not sure what else to do, but I will try to be aware of the ways that adrenaline is part of my day.
I do think it’s also hard to justify rearranging my time and life around creative pursuits when I’ve been feeling so blocked. Like even if I had more time and energy I doubt I’d be able to get back into that creative space anyway. It’s a tough spot to be in.
The book is pretty helpful though, if you’ve been looking to tune up your self care.