Autism and Self Diagnosis

A number of my autistic friends have given me the feedback that they believe I am autistic too. It has been something that has been on my mind for a while and would explain a lot of childhood things for me. Admittedly I felt like the autistic community, along with people in general (NTs… how interesting) is a club that I just couldn’t get into. But if I were autistic it would explain:

  • Feeling physical pain a lot of the time, particularly with loud sounds
  • Stunning and picking to regulate
  • Enjoying wearing masks especially in the height of COVID when it was required and people didn’t look at me weird for wearing one, helped me feel safe
  • Feeling as though I need to expend enormous amounts of energy to appear “normal” whatever that means
  • Why I freak out and feel unsafe if my schedule changes
  • Enjoying repetitive tasks
  • Despising being touched as a child
  • Special interests galore, not wanting to talk about “small talky” things
  • Flat affect feeling normal
  • Copying other people, knowing I need to in order to appear normal and that my automatic responses are the almost always the “wrong” thing
  • Taking things literally / being confused when others don’t

I could go on and on. I worry that I would be judged for self identifying. It’s something I’m still grappling with, but the reality is there are no standard tests for adults and many folks couldn’t even afford a diagnosis if they wanted one. So. I totally think self identifying is legit, I just don’t know why then it’s hard for me to do it. I did introduce myself as neurodivergent the other day so I guess that’s a start.

Much love



2 thoughts on “Autism and Self Diagnosis

  1. for as long as i’ve known you, i’ve noticed many similarities between you and i, personality-wise. i’ve recently been formally diagnosed with asd, and while i think that an official diagnosis is something that merits thinking about, i would definitely say that asd would certainly explain a lot about you. it did for me, at least. self-diagnosis has upsides, but also many downsides, but as long as you’re not using it for clout or personal gain, i don’t see any harm in it.


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