So. I thought maybe I was still just exhausted from this semester and then I realized … my melt down today was about scheduling. As it usually is, though sometimes in disguise.
I had an opportunity to meet up for lunch with some people. A time wasn’t given. So I showered. Felt rushed. Then the place of rendezvous vous altered. But I was told:
“It’s fine. We’re just shopping/not waiting in you. Meet us whenever wherever.”
Sounds nice, right? But.
My brain doesn’t work like that. I didn’t know how much time I would have to dry my hair or get ready or pick a new place to eat because they didn’t know the area but kept changing locations. It was just a mess so before I knew it I was just in bed with my hair half wet and giving up. crying. Lol. It’s so dumb when I think about it now. But.
That stuff stresses me out. Lol. A lot of other stuff doesn’t. But now I’m sitting here in bed being like. Am I just exhausted still? No. Maybe? It’s this scheduling thing. autism ?
If they had said “meet me at xyz at 1 pm” I probably would have gone and been fine. Sigh.
Eternal Ocean of Words 
Yikes yeah i can see that being stressful. It was probably a result of all of the things you suggested. Exhaustion reduces our executive functions and ability to adapt, as well as autism traits :).
Definitely a core autism thing!
Are you maybe putting too many demands on yourself in terms of steps you needed to go through to be ready? I suggest it because I’ve been guilty of it. So maybe didn’t need to shower or to wash your hair, but then i don’t know how oily your hair type is lol. It’s definitely a lot of overhead for a spontaneous thing anyway, so maybe just bad timing too?
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Yeah. Sigh. I normally wouldn’t have so many steps but my hair really wasn’t uh. Good for going out. Lol. I think I tend to get overwhelmed with steps so I do need to simplify I think.
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Ah I see haha. Yep that is such an autism thing too 😂 seen that mentioned in online resources as a strong issue for sure. Yeah def doesn’t help being a woman or being active esp. since you swim. Extra steps.
But yeah you’re totally autistic lol. It’s kind of fun watching you making these realisations. Maybe try listening to autism podcasts for suggestions or just reassurance.
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