Childhood Friendships

I envy people who have had a best friend since kindergarten. Having moved around a lot sort of prevented me, I think, from really cementing friendships. I also recall not feeling as though I fit in with kids when I was in my elementary school years, all the way through high school really. I wasn't [...]

Relational Trauma: Soft Exterior Masks Silent Rage

With this short break between summer classes and the fall semester, I have had a lot of time to reflect. That can be good and bad. Nature has always been a safe haven for me. I remember running to the large garden in my backyard and hiding among the blossoms as a child to get [...]

Wellness Wednesday: Change Is Hard And Inevitable

Change will come, whether we wish it to or not. To fight it is like fighting the sunrise. Better to say, "Ah, welcome old friend. Here you are again." This quote actually comes from a children's book that I'm reading, but it's pertinent throughout life. If you've been anxiety-ridden like I have, you know that [...]

I’m Reading Sylvia Plath’s Diary

A lot of inner turmoil has been coming up for me lately, but as I write this, it doesn't steal my peace and I know I have to take time for myself. Sylvia ... ended her life at age 30, and I remember in my teens vowing to myself to end my life by 30 [...]

The Tapes We Play

I'm about to run a group on self concept. A colleague just told me he regularly heard positive things about my groups even though I work on an as needed basis around my school schedule. The comment doesn't really penetrate or compute.  I tell the residents in the inpatient rehab where I work all the [...]

Wellness Wednesday: embodied whilst ill

So who gets strep throat in August? *enthusiastically raises hand* If you're sick along with having anxiety, it can be hard to stay in the present moment but try to take care of yourself by Drinking enough water  Taking needed meds Drinking hot tea  Breathing Being kind to yourself  Getting enough rest  Not forcing yourself [...]

Morning Musings

  I'm reading the diaries of Sylvia Plath on a lake, quiet, with history and tension at my back. But for whatever reason this morning it is not stealing my peace. A flesh reminder of one of my mortal wounds does not intimidate, when previously just thoughts would torment me. I may owe this grace [...]

Musings from a Lake

I'm sitting on Lake Latonka by myself and I'm reminded of how crazy life is. If not for my Dad's job, I would have no desire to be in western Pennsylvania, and likely would have never come here. I haven't been so far north in a long time. I can't tell if the weather is [...]

Wellness Wednesday: Short and Sweet

Due to a my last doctoral class for the summer finishing up today, I have limited time to really construct something. But, I did meet with a very good friend this afternoon before I headed to my university. She is also very well acquainted with relational trauma and activation. It's imperative that if you too [...]

Hello Anxiety, My Old Friend.

Anxiety: Abstract drowning, with your head just below the surface... but you can't lift it to breathe. Most people say that they had no idea that I struggle[d] with anxiety, looking at me now. I'm in a PhD program, an addictions counselor who runs therapy groups with people who are sometimes [understandably] not so happy, [...]