Wellness Update

Teaching a five week class was much more grueling than expected, but I made it through. I promised myself I wouldn't do work today. And I haven't. And I won't. I went to Zumba with my mom then out to lunch and now I'm lounging on a glorious day in my backyard. I don't think [...]

Wellness Wednesday: Self Expression

In some ways I feel like my psychology and counseling training has ruined me. In the best possible way, of course. Let me explain. I spend a lot of time analyzing people. Dealing with their innermost thoughts and emotions. So when in my personal life people seem unwilling or unable to be forthcoming and honest [...]

Wellness Wednesday: Tough Lessons

I've gotten good feedback lately about my teaching and some hard to hear feedback in other areas. It's hard to internalize and integrate both the good and bad... instead of just the bad, er, more constructive. Sometimes with your best intentions, you're still misunderstood and things can't get rectified. I've learned to try not to [...]

Relational Trauma: Soft Exterior Masks Silent Rage

With this short break between summer classes and the fall semester, I have had a lot of time to reflect. That can be good and bad. Nature has always been a safe haven for me. I remember running to the large garden in my backyard and hiding among the blossoms as a child to get [...]

The Tapes We Play

I'm about to run a group on self concept. A colleague just told me he regularly heard positive things about my groups even though I work on an as needed basis around my school schedule. The comment doesn't really penetrate or compute.  I tell the residents in the inpatient rehab where I work all the [...]

Wellness Wednesday: Short and Sweet

Due to a my last doctoral class for the summer finishing up today, I have limited time to really construct something. But, I did meet with a very good friend this afternoon before I headed to my university. She is also very well acquainted with relational trauma and activation. It's imperative that if you too [...]

Wellness Wednesday: The Vacillator Love Style

First, I hope everyone has a happy and safe Fourth of July if you're in the United States and celebrating. I wanted to point out that if you recognize which love style best describes you, it likely shows up not only in your intimate relationships, but in every close relationship that you have (parents, friends, [...]

Attachment Wounds

What is particularly distressing about intimate relationships can be ... the intimacy itself, depending on your attachment style. Your past wounds/hurts/insecurities/whatever you want to call it regarding being in any type of relationship and relating to other individuals emerge when you're in an intimate relationship. "Emerge" may be too soft a word, sometimes your issues [...]

Wellness Wednesday: Your Love Style

This isn't the love languages, but I recently started reading How We Love and have found it enormously helpful thus far. It has helped me figure out my patterns of relating to people (formed in childhood) and how they have caused havoc in some of my friendships/relationships, some more than others. To anyone who has dated me, [...]