Yay for Meltdowns

So. I thought maybe I was still just exhausted from this semester and then I realized … my melt down today was about scheduling. As it usually is, though sometimes in disguise. I had an opportunity to meet up for lunch with some people. A time wasn’t given. So I showered. Felt rushed. Then the [...]

A Memory

A memory popped up on my facebook today from 2016. I took a selfie in a bathroom mirror at a university after presenting at a conference. I drove from Pittsburgh to southern Illinois to present on my thesis by myself. It's been interesting reflecting on just how close I was to dropping out of undergrad [...]

Today is just one of those days I suppose

I have made a commitment not to do any work on Sundays and have kept it. I try to write creatively, read, paint, and incorporate movement into my day. Today I went on a walk in the sun, spent time with my boyfriend, spent some time trying to work on some creative writing projects, and [...]

If you have anxiety, the world isn’t set up for you.

It’s a harsh reality. And I’m reminded of it often, even though my anxiety is tremendously more manageable and tame than it used to me. Right now it feels like a crotchety old house cat that gets agitated from time to time but usually is settled by a few scrtiches and pats … when it [...]

Welp.

Found out this week I won’t be teaching a class I spent hours preparing for due to enrollment issues. I know this isn’t an anomaly or personal but … it just touches on everything I’ve been working on lately and it doesn’t feel good. I hate feeling like I’ve wasted time that I could have [...]

Scheduling Anxiety

It seemingly never ends... with my split position between clinical work and teaching it just feels like there's any endless slew of schedule conflicts for me to deal with and constantly feel like I'm failing one aspect of my position. So we're trying to finalize schedules for the fall and I get an email from [...]

Fears

So my anxiety was high today because during an interview, my technology failed, sort of, and the interview recording (for research) got messed up and wasn’t in a playable format. This is the stuff that stresses me out. Not doing the actual work but the pain in the ass stuff that I’m worried about being [...]

Quick Hawaii Reflection

There will be much more to come... but I wanted to make this quick comment. I know that I've said before that my anxiety exacerbates if I have less sleep. That seems like a no brainer... but I realized something on my travels that has been true for years, only just now coming into my [...]

Trauma and Communication

I was recently working on something with a client of mine and realized that it applies to me as well at times. Essentially we identified that she expected her boyfriend to read her mind, to be able to meet her needs without her asking. Wouldn’t that be splendid? A lover that knew everything you needed [...]

Hidden Trauma Responses

When people hear "trauma" they often think of someone who needs to go the ER or a combat veteran--both of which can definitely be related to trauma, but the concept of trauma is so much more expansive than that. Trauma, or an unhealed wound, can be a single event, or a series of events. I [...]