Trauma and Shrinking

Let's just start by saying relational trauma is a thing. And it can make connecting with people especially hard. I realize that certain tendencies within myself are trauma responses. My tendency to clean when I'm anxious and don't feel well. Why do kids who grow up in unstable environments feel the need to be perfect [...]

Creativity

I've noticed that if I don't engage in creative endeavors often enough I feel so much less fulfilled and more sluggish. I'm going to try to commit to making things and writing creative things more often. Maybe get more active on my Etsy shop again. I love making little critters with polymer clay. I think [...]

Isolation

Dissertation writing can be so isolating. I always chide myself for not tying harder to stay in touch with my cohort, but people grow apart everyone has their own lives. Also, in the back of my mind I often think people are sick of me anyway. lol. I should be done with my dissertation by [...]

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood [no spoilers]

I heard this movie was good before I saw it and I intentionally didn't research it. Sure it was a bit nostalgic for me, but even if you've never seen Mr Rogers while growing up, this is still a great movie. Tom Hanks was phenomenal. And I think lately there have been so many things [...]

Most Comfortable at a Distance

I can see the glowing lights I can see them every night Really not that far away I could be there in a day I wonder if you live there still I kind of think you always will If I tried, you'd probably be Hard to find. Teaching is such s humbling experience, especially when [...]

Good Mentorship

Is so invaluable. Especially when you don't feel like any of your fears, worries, or other emotions were really heard growing up. My best mentors can tell me when I'm overreacting and I don't take offense to it because of their delivery. It's so refreshing. To be validated but then also given another perspective in [...]

Triumphant

This conference went infinitely better than my last. Not only was I talking about a topic I'm passionate about, but I was totally comfortable with the situation. So that was great and I'm proud that I pushed through my anxiety to contribute some substantial stuff to the forensic presentation about sex offenders Love that stuff. [...]

Last month of the year

This year has been insane in a lot of ways. I've grown so much personally and professionally. My circle has thinned and I'm ok with almost all of those changes. Sometimes when you're an intense person like I am you can't stand surface level connection or friendships. I keep people who offer me shallow connection [...]