Distance and Connection

There's security in only allowing others to see you at your best Made up well-dressed. But pale, sickly Lip bloodied Feels too raw, My image sullied. What could be better than to remain at a safe distance a curated image untouched. You might be anything exciting in their mind But too far away from their [...]

The Horrors of Online Dating [and Entitled Men?] Part 1

I'm certain I'm not the only person who has experienced less than ideal dates after meeting someone on an online platform. lol. However, it never ceases to amaze me: the complete lack of tact and class of some folks... when I recall my own online dating experiences and learn of others' experiences too. I also [...]

How do you know if you’ve forgiven someone?

This is a tough thing to think about, and people often get it confused with saying what someone did is okay. Not so. I'm always learning about myself and what it means to be in connection with other people, but from what I've gleaned so far, forgiveness can be pretty complex. Here is how you [...]

Today’s Thought

If you're afraid to voice your needs in your relationship, then you're afraid of the "consequences" of having needs/being seen. Trauma Trauma Trauma

Mental Load

I recently had a conversation with a friend about carrying the mental load in any connection with another person: romantic connections, friendships and working relationships. What do I mean by mental load ? Let me illustrate. Do you ever feel like the secretary in your friend group or colleague group? Meaning If there’s a meeting, [...]

Through the Storm

I sat out on the front porch today to do some work as a storm raged. Water was streaming off the roof just a few feet away. It was in the afternoon and really dark. Kind of matches my mood today. I'm not ready for the semester to start. I'm holding on as best I [...]

How to know when it’s time to let someone go.

This is so important, and I've been working on it for a while. And no, I'm not speaking romantically, but I suppose these tips could fit with that situation as well. You know that feeling you get when there's just tension surrounding your connection with someone and you don't know why? Maybe it's lingering history, [...]

Trauma and Communication

I was recently working on something with a client of mine and realized that it applies to me as well at times. Essentially we identified that she expected her boyfriend to read her mind, to be able to meet her needs without her asking. Wouldn’t that be splendid? A lover that knew everything you needed [...]

Blogust 6 Mistaken Attraction

One thing that I find frustrating is when people conflate good conversation and good creative energy with physical attraction. It almost feels like a violation of something sacred. If I share personal experiences with someone and have a deep connection that doesn’t by default mean there has to be a sexual attraction or connection. I [...]

The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self [Review]

This book has a wealth of helpful information for therapists and for people learning to gain self-insight, independently. Awesome. 5/5 stars for sure. If you grew up in stressful circumstances, this may not be a light read for you. I certainly found that to be the case. Though having a lot of things laid bare [...]