Wellness Wednesday: Connection … when you grew up without it

Your relationships in your family of origin prime you for relationships in your adult life. If your emotional connection with your parents/family (or lack thereof) left you confused ... you will likely have a confusing time in your adult life with relationships, at least at first, until you work through some of your earlier connection/disconnection [...]

5 Signs of Relational Trauma

You don't trust people. You're able to "fake it" and appear connected with others on the surface, but you find yourself having visceral reactions of fear and disgust and pain when you have to rely on another person. You would rather do things yourself so you don't have to worry about or deal with involving [...]

Wellness Wednesday: The Semester is Eating Me Alive

Wednesdays have proven to be a crazy day for me (please excuse the late post)... especially because with my new IRB position, we often have meetings Wednesdays. Anyway, a male boss/mentor of mine recently shared with me when we were talking about our profession (counseling) that men often feel like they can open up more [...]

Childhood Friendships

I envy people who have had a best friend since kindergarten. Having moved around a lot sort of prevented me, I think, from really cementing friendships. I also recall not feeling as though I fit in with kids when I was in my elementary school years, all the way through high school really. I wasn't [...]

Wellness Wednesday: Connection, or Lack Thereof

Just as the tides produce a cycle of balance, you, in your relationships, can intentionally go through cycles that will bring you and your partner into balance and deeper intimacy. For anyone who has been reading my blog, you know I have been reading How We Love, by Yerkovich. I just finished it last night and [...]

Wellness Wednesday: The Vacillator Love Style

First, I hope everyone has a happy and safe Fourth of July if you're in the United States and celebrating. I wanted to point out that if you recognize which love style best describes you, it likely shows up not only in your intimate relationships, but in every close relationship that you have (parents, friends, [...]

Attachment Wounds

What is particularly distressing about intimate relationships can be ... the intimacy itself, depending on your attachment style. Your past wounds/hurts/insecurities/whatever you want to call it regarding being in any type of relationship and relating to other individuals emerge when you're in an intimate relationship. "Emerge" may be too soft a word, sometimes your issues [...]

Wellness Wednesday

Today I had a bunch of ideas about what topic to write about... shame, trauma, sleep... but I am choosing connection/relationships for this week because connecting with others has been.... has always been ... rather difficult for me. I recall when I was younger in elementary school feeling like I was uninterested in the majority [...]