I can’t sleep

I've been getting back in touch with myself and it's a good thing. It has involved changing how I dress, act, speak, wear my makeup--- everything. so as to be more authentic. I know there's a time to be professional but I'm becoming much more comfortable expressing myself and not hiding who I really am--- [...]

Blogust 9

About to go to a demolition derby. Things are moving along with my dissertation process. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself and have faith that I'll actually graduate and get a job. A mentor of mine sent me words of encouragement today, which was so appreciated. She said to enjoy where I'm at [...]

Blogust 1

And so it begins, me trying to blog every day in August, even if it's just a picture. I like the above shot of me, even though the selfie is from yesterday. Today I woke up without having slept well. That's nothing remarkable. But what is notable is that I wasn't anxious. I had an [...]

My Soul My Peace

I try so hard not to lose myself in the practical daily tasks that suck my energy and often trigger my anxiety. I dissociate much less often than I used to. And I hardly ever fully dissociate anymore, which is wonderful but at the same time-- it can be hard to be fully present if [...]

Relational Trauma: Soft Exterior Masks Silent Rage

With this short break between summer classes and the fall semester, I have had a lot of time to reflect. That can be good and bad. Nature has always been a safe haven for me. I remember running to the large garden in my backyard and hiding among the blossoms as a child to get [...]

Nothing Comes to Mind

I recently paid a much needed visit to my home town of Batavia, Illinois. It was brief, but helped.  It's good to get back in touch with your roots ... if you have any. That's a tough one for me, because I often feel like I don't belong anywhere as I've moved so much. But [...]