Trauma and Shrinking

Let's just start by saying relational trauma is a thing. And it can make connecting with people especially hard. I realize that certain tendencies within myself are trauma responses. My tendency to clean when I'm anxious and don't feel well. Why do kids who grow up in unstable environments feel the need to be perfect [...]

Creativity

I've noticed that if I don't engage in creative endeavors often enough I feel so much less fulfilled and more sluggish. I'm going to try to commit to making things and writing creative things more often. Maybe get more active on my Etsy shop again. I love making little critters with polymer clay. I think [...]

Isolation

Dissertation writing can be so isolating. I always chide myself for not tying harder to stay in touch with my cohort, but people grow apart everyone has their own lives. Also, in the back of my mind I often think people are sick of me anyway. lol. I should be done with my dissertation by [...]

“Wellness” During Dissertation

I'm starting to believe that there may not be such a thing, that undertaking such a task is in and of itself "crazy" and unhealthy. It certainly feels that way at times, no matter how invested I am in my education and my dissertation topic and no matter how hard a worker I am and [...]

Wellness Wednesday

I'm leaving for Seattle in a few hours to present at a conference. I would have liked to have had more time to prepare, but it is what it is. Dissertation is such a lonely and isolating process, it's unreal. You do receive help from your committee and mentors for sure... but, everything really all [...]

Blogust 13

Worked on my dissertation today, went to Zumba and saw 4 clients in a row at the private practice. Was great to see progress that my clients have made, but I'm spent-- more so because of dissertation worries than anything else. I think overeating brings up a lot for me. I notice how much better [...]

Blogust 7

Wow and how things can change is less than 24 hours. With a lot of different things added on my plate and feeling the time crunch, I'm overwhelmed. Ok, but overwhelmed. Also, I received my first (I think) rejection of conference proposal, which was sort of surprising, but not really given that I didn't have [...]

Blogust 2

Today was more productive than I thought it would be. I didn't sleep well. Again. But somehow I still didn't feel very anxious about working. I went to zumba with my mom and then we had lunch. I was able to work on my dissertation for a couple hours while also completing some other work. [...]

Blogust 1

And so it begins, me trying to blog every day in August, even if it's just a picture. I like the above shot of me, even though the selfie is from yesterday. Today I woke up without having slept well. That's nothing remarkable. But what is notable is that I wasn't anxious. I had an [...]