Chronic Trauma Validation

After starting my career in counseling and psychology I’ve really had it solidified for me that I had spend most of my earlier years in a near constant state of activation. There’s a lot of grief associated with that—The things I might have done if I had my cognitive brain fully online instead of being flooded with emotions and in fight or flight.

Anyway. What I mean to convey in this post is that often some types of traumas are more difficult to define and identify. For myself, being exposed to chronic degrading and demoralizing talk was traumatic over the years, and I didn’t have the language to articulate that for so long. I didn’t break a leg. I wasn’t in an accident, but my responses to the world and people were that of fear and being traumatized. And that sensitivity was mocked.

If you find yourself on edge: Fearful of people and the world, you may have experienced trauma in your life that you had conceptualized as normal. Maybe parents or those around you early in life continually spoke in degrading ways or angry ways that lead you to feel unsafe or not valuable. Those with developmental trauma may struggle to clearly define how they have been harmed… because it may feel like tiny paper cut like wounds that add up. But oh do they add up.

Your experience is absolutely valid. And your healing process will start by you validating your own experience and surrounding yourself with others who will do the same. Those who have hurt you might never admit it, but, your healing doesn’t lie with what they do or don’t do … believe it or not. That is taking your power back. I’ve had to learn that some of the relationships I craved as a kid just aren’t possible because of where some of the adults in my life were/are at, but I can get that care elsewhere. Grief is associated with this process, but so is power and freedom.

Your experiences are valid. Honor them. Be honest about them.

Much love

Natalie

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