More and more I see how much making plans with people triggers me, or rather, the process of making plans does. Case in point: a friend mentions that we should meet up this week (saying this last week). We pick a day and time and then it is never mentioned again. The day passes without a word about it. The rules I set for myself:
- I don’t chase people
- I don’t “check up” on plans that someone else initiated. If they don’t mention it again, I assume it’s not happening.
- I don’t wait for people, because then I end up doing nothing. If I don’t have confirmation from the original person, I make different plans for my day.
If people don’t confirm with me close to the day that we made the plans, I assume it isn’t happening. It drives me insane though. Like WHY do people talk just to talk? If you don’t actually want to meet up, fine, I really don’t care! But then stop talking to me about plans/meeting up/hanging out when you don’t follow through with plans. I’m over it. I got so tired of initiating plans with people that for the majority of people in my life I’ve stopped initiating plans completely because there’s always rescheduling involved or simply the plans are just forgotten. I learned too, that if I don’t initiate and then I never hang out with the person, then that says something valuable anyway.